Star Wars Vs. Pirates of the Caribbean

So if Darth Vader is Davy Jones, who took over the Flying Dutchman when he died? It should be the Emperor, but Vader killed him. So would it be Luke? (Davy Vader by Plinio Pinto at Draw2D2)

Outside of Han Solo, R2-D2 is really the only character that could play Jack Sparrow. (R2-D2 Sparrow by Andres Rivera at Draw2D2)

Previously on Popped Culture...

Un-Sexy Star Wars Pinups

Willy Wonka Meets Darth Vader

Robot Spare Parts

Astronaut To Tranny: The Many Roles Of Johnny Depp

And in pretty much every one of them he had awesome hair. And I loved him as the Emo Wolverine. (Link via Reddit)

Previously on Popped Culture...

The Depp Hatter's Tea Party

My Name Is Depp And I Love To Get Blotto

The Many Faces of Gary Oldman

Best Civil War Reenactment Ever

Of course even I'm not sure what Slave Leia's role would have been, but the Stormtroppers, Ghostbusters and pirates make total sense. Damn history classes, always lying to us. (Star Wars Blog via Fashionably Geek)

Previously on Popped Culture...

Fast Food Final Fantasy

Cosplay Star Wars Last Supper

Help Me Everything Bagel! You're My Only Hope

The Depp Hatter's Tea Party

DeviantARTist memorypalace brings together six of Johnny Depp's more colourful characters (L-R: Jack Sparrow, Ed Wood, Sweeney Todd, The Mad Hatter, Willy Wonka, Edward Scissorhands). Add seven more and you've got yourself a Last Supper. Someone get on that. (Link via The Daily What)

Previously on Popped Culture...
My Name Is Depp And I Love To Get Blotto
Poor Predictable Edward, Always Chooses Scissors
Mr. T Party

Fool's Gold

Woe be unto the Pirates of the Caribbean, whose swashbucklers only managed to pull in $142.1 million over the past four days. While the third installment of the Disney franchise did set a Memorial Day record, over three days it earned less than last summer’s Dead Man’s Chest and brought in less than Spider-Man 3. Only in Hollywood can making well over $100 million in a weekend be seen as a failure.

Pirates has already made $401 million worldwide, which makes it exceedingly hard to swallow studio complaints that piracy is hurting the industry. It makes me want to go out and buy a copy for $2 at a street corner, out of spite.

Of course skewed Hollywood economics are nothing new. What truly bothers me is how the entertainment press has bought into it. Why are box office stories given such huge play? Why am I reading about what how much cash studio bosses are rolling in every week? That is a business story and there is a whole other section for that

I understand that people are interested in what’s No. 1 at the box office (like that’s a good way to choose what film to see), but why is the box office tally the measuring stick? TV ratings measure audience; music charts tally the number of albums sold; bestsellers’ lists track bestsellers. All of these lists are based on audience popularity, which is how movies should be gauged. Why not use ticket sales as the new measure, which would allow year-to-year comparisons that wouldn’t be affected by the ever-inflating ticket prices. Leave the money to the accountants.

Ahoy, Bunnies!

Yo-ho-ho, just in time for the third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean, comes the 30-Second Bunnies reenactment of the previous two swashbucklers. They are both summed up in the single take for obvious reasons – it was the same movie.

Is Johnny Depp finally walking the plank with this one? Will the Hollywood rebel loose some of his cool factor by continuing to star in the franchise? It was surprising to see him come on board for a Disney movie about a theme park ride, but he turned that around so I’m not counting him out yet. Plus it has Chow Yun-Fat. Sure, he hasn’t done anything good since leaving Hong Kong (go rent Hard Boiled and see what I mean), but hopefully this one will work out.

Of course if Pirates brings in another treasure chest full of cash at the box office, we will likely see another movie rise from the briny depths in two years. As Entertainment Weekly put it: “Vowed the studio, ‘We will not stop until pirate movies suck again.’”

Cinema Deja Vu

It’s not a good thing when you watch five trailers and you realize you’ve seen them all. It’s not like I’ve actually watched the films, but it certainly felt that way. They were: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Take the Lead, X-Men 3, Superman Returns and Poseidon. Remakes or sequels all.

Pirates is the second of three Johnny Depp vehicles. I liked the first, but there didn’t seem any need for a sequel. But it made it lot of coin, so I suppose it was inevitable.

Take the Lead is the only “original” of the bunch, Starring Antonio Banderas as a ballroom dancer who teaches inner city kids how to dance, it’s more familiar than Pirates. To Sir, With Love, Stand and Deliver, Lean On Me, Dangerous Minds anyone?

X-Men 3 is much like Pirates, a successful franchise that was bound to continue. No problem, I’m going to see it – there’s nothing like a good popcorn film and all superheroes need a trilogy.

But do they need a fifth movie? That’s what Superman Returns is, but it’s not a rethink of the franchise like Batman Begins, but a sequel that ignores two of the previous sequels. I’m not convinced.

Then there was Poseidon (for god’s sake, start the movie!), a remake of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure and appears to be inspired by King Kong – remade because they can and ‘cause they figure nobody will remember the original. I think I’ll go rent it.

I know it’s not original to complain about the, um, lack of originality, but seriously, are there so few new ideas out there? Sigh, I guess I’ll just have to wait until Mission: Impossible 3 and Miami Vice. Oh, wait a sec…