This Is So Weekend At Bernie's...

Breaking News! Cheney to attend Inauguration in wheelchair! Apparently the poor bastard pulled a muscle moving his crap outta the Whitehouse and is all laid up. Man's gotta be a capital 'P' Pack Rat to do that kinda damage. Still, it's good to hear he's still alive. If he is in fact still alive.

Cheney's Got a Gun

Last night, while watching the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart gleefully skewering U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney for shooting a wealthy Republican lawyer in the face while the two were out “hunting” cage-raised quail, I had a brainstorm.

It was obvious that this incident was going to enter the pop culture lexicon almost immediately. Three-quarters of Stewart’s show was about the shooting. Said Vice Presidential Firearms Mishap Expert Rob Corddry: “In a post 9/11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.”

Jay Leno weighed in: "When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. ... When people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."

Said David Letterman: "Good news, ladies and gentlemen. We have finally located weapons of mass destruction: it's Dick Cheney. We can't get bin Laden but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

So there I was thinking, “This would make a great t-shirt.” Ooop, too late, they are already up for sale. Bless the interweb.

Update: I've been getting so many hits looking for a download of the Cheney's Got a Gun parody of the Aerosmith article that I figured I should go and find it. There is a great version at The Bob Rivers Show. Very funny. Come back soon.