Meet the New Boss, Same As the Old Boss

I appear to have a naively misguided belief that there are creative impulses at work in the movie industry, in which writers, directors, actors and producers are attempting to create, if not art, at least original entertainment. That’s why I’m disheartened at the return of some creaky old heroes to the multiplex. Among the never-say-die characters shuddering back to life are The Terminator, Detective John McClane, Rocky, Rambo, Indiana Jones and some nasty dinosaurs.

I loved each one of the original films and in the case of Indiana Jones, all three of the series, but when they have been laying fallow for many years and are now coming back with fours (a sixth in the case of Rocky!) it is time to say enough. Who is funding Sylvester Stallone’s rage against the dying of the night? What 60-year-old could return to professional boxing or professional soldiering for that matter? The last versions of those films were 16 years ago (Rocky V) and 18 years ago (Rambo) and I don’t recall anyone clamouring for new chapters in their lives.

Bruce Willis’ return in Live Free or Die Hard is almost as problematic, as the plots and titles are becoming equally clunky. In his early 50s, it is reasonable that McClane is still a working cop, no matter how improbable it is that he stumbles upon yet another elaborate scheme – this one involving terrorists and computers. If Willis is going to keep playing the same character, he should do it in other films, a lá Sin City.

The Terminator is going back to the future, sans Schwarzenegger, to tell the tale of Skynet and the apocalyptic nightmare humanity has in store. Prequels are a handy trick to explain away the absence of the star who appeared in the original film and may also explain the lack of an audience. The flick could do okay if they spend Arnie’s salary on new special effects. As I haven’t even seen the third incarnation, I’ve got no interest in this one either.

As for Jurassic Park, hasn’t this storyline been exhausted? We get it, velociraptors are brilliant hunters and the T-Rex is an eating machine. Sure, nature finds a way, but how hasn’t this island been wiped off the map? Perhaps some get lose during a cargo transfer to some uber-rich guy’s private reserve, resulting in Jurassic Park IV: Dinosaurs on a Plane. We should be so lucky.

The only one of the bunch I’d be interested in is the one that seems that furthest away from fruition. Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Harrison Ford have been unable to agree on a script since 1993, despite all of them being interested. Ford now is older than Sean Connery was when he played his father in The Last Crusade, but I’d still be willing to go on another adventure, as long as he wasn’t still chasing Nazis in the 1960s. If this one doesn’t happen, I will be satisfied with the trilogy as it is.

An Entertainment Weekly piece heralding the return of these films suggested that in new hands, film series can be reborn in the same fashion Christopher Nolan breathed new life into Batman Begins. But none of these characters are being torn down and rebuilt, it is just the studio returning to the same old mine and hoping there is still some gold left over. I just wish they would go and look for some new gems.

Star Trek: So Very Tired

Boldly going where everyone has already gone before, a new Star Trek movie has been announced for 2008. The film, the 11th and the first since 2002’s lackluster Star Trek: Nemesis will center on the early days of James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, including their first meeting at Starfleet Academy and first outer-space mission, according to Daily Variety.

This is the only idea that studio executives understand these days: series reinvention. It started with last year’s Batman Begins, which took the franchise back to the beginning. The venerable James Bond series is currently in the process of stripping down 007 to his origins for the upcoming Casino Royale and the next Superman, while not returning to it’s roots, is ignoring some of the sequels.

It worked for Batman and I hope it serves Bond well, but I have great trepidation about revisiting characters that are so familiar. Setting a series at Starfleet could be interesting, but it could also easily become Star Trek: 90210. I remember the episode where Wesley Crusher was at Starfleet, and not at all fondly. And this area has been mined before, maybe not exactly, but the last series, Enterprise, looked back at Star Trek’s past.

I was hoping they would let it lie for a few more years before reviving the Trek universe. There were 18 years between the original Star Trek and the Next Generation. The following series aired back to back and occasionally simultaneously, not giving any chance for a creative breather – something the series and films are in need of.

But if there is any good news in this announcement it is in the choice of J.J. Abrams as producer and possible director. As the creator and producer of Alias and Lost, I’m impressed with his creative abilities. He’s also directed the upcoming Mission: Impossible 3 so we’ll soon see how he handles the big screen too.

For the sake of both Trek and Abrams, I hope he finds some undiscovered country.

Cinema Deja Vu

It’s not a good thing when you watch five trailers and you realize you’ve seen them all. It’s not like I’ve actually watched the films, but it certainly felt that way. They were: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Take the Lead, X-Men 3, Superman Returns and Poseidon. Remakes or sequels all.

Pirates is the second of three Johnny Depp vehicles. I liked the first, but there didn’t seem any need for a sequel. But it made it lot of coin, so I suppose it was inevitable.

Take the Lead is the only “original” of the bunch, Starring Antonio Banderas as a ballroom dancer who teaches inner city kids how to dance, it’s more familiar than Pirates. To Sir, With Love, Stand and Deliver, Lean On Me, Dangerous Minds anyone?

X-Men 3 is much like Pirates, a successful franchise that was bound to continue. No problem, I’m going to see it – there’s nothing like a good popcorn film and all superheroes need a trilogy.

But do they need a fifth movie? That’s what Superman Returns is, but it’s not a rethink of the franchise like Batman Begins, but a sequel that ignores two of the previous sequels. I’m not convinced.

Then there was Poseidon (for god’s sake, start the movie!), a remake of 1972’s The Poseidon Adventure and appears to be inspired by King Kong – remade because they can and ‘cause they figure nobody will remember the original. I think I’ll go rent it.

I know it’s not original to complain about the, um, lack of originality, but seriously, are there so few new ideas out there? Sigh, I guess I’ll just have to wait until Mission: Impossible 3 and Miami Vice. Oh, wait a sec…