Plastic Fantastic

Lest anyone think I was being cruel comparing Tina Turner to Little Richard during last night's Grammy Awards, I present to you the results of countless hours of plastic surgery and a combined age of 143. I suspect that Little Richard can no longer close his eyes. The horror.

Grammys: Creaky Legends of Rock

I hate that my generation is in positions of creative control these days. Tonight's Grammys featured the unheralded reunion of The Time. Wha? Remember them? They were the bad guys in Purple Rain and had a couple of minor hits. That was it. (And wasn't having Morris Day hit on Rihanna creepy? There is a 30-year age gap there.)

And Cyndi Lauper presented the Best New Artist award as they highlighted the fact that she won the category back in 1985. She didn't sing, but still. My peers have already helped an '80s revival last longer than the '80s — I hope this isn't the start of another one.

Of course my contemporaries have nothing on the boomers, who still haven't taken their clammy hands off the reins yet — witness the performances of Aretha Franklin, John Fogerty and a much face-lifted Tina Turner. She's 68 for god's sake and looked like she was going to bust something off up on stage. She must have the same surgeon as Little Richard. Nice to see The Beatles get some recognition after all these years. Poor lads have never really gotten their due.

But while the show wallowed (celebrated?) it's 50 years, there was some concession that new music is still being made, with Amy Winhouse (who admittedly has a retro sound) being one of the biggest winners of the night. Nice to see, despite looking like she was dying to climb into a bottle after her fabulous performance (and beating out Feist for Best New Artist). I hope she manages to pull herself together as I'd like to see what comes next.

I thought of live-blogging this too late (plus the show is way too damn long and I work too early) but there are many fine places to get all caught up. May I suggest Inside the Box and The Ampersand was a dash of Dose for the best moments of the night.

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Canadians are invading tomorrow's Grammy Awards in droves and of course the one I'm most excited about is Walter Ostanek's nomination for Best Polka Album.

No, wait, it's Feist that I want to see do well. She's the it girl these days and its nice to see a new woman in the pantheon of Sarah McLachlan, Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne.

Here's a great parody of her video for 1234 from Mad TV