Ice Ice Baby

It is likely that the above editorial cartoon by the Globe and Mail's talented Anthony Jenkins will be baffling to non-Canadians — in fact it is too me as well, not because of the content but the context behind it.

Gallons of ink and tears have been spilled over the CBC's decision to walk away from the theme music of Hockey Night in Canada, a jingle that has been bizarrely lauded as Canada's "second national anthem."

I for one reject the notion that every Canadian is obsessed with the game and that our nation's greatest triumph came in 1972 when a Canadian team out-thugged the USSR. But there's little point in saying so — I can't deny the stranglehold that hockey holds on our culture. Even I can talk (sorta) about hockey and I didn't even watch a (whole) game this season.

Admittedly, after 40 years, the song is iconic, so the plan to replace it with the help of a contest seems a touch trite. "It would be the ultimate Canadian Idol, really," mused CBC Sports executive director Scott Moore. Umm, exactly. Idol meets hockey culture — it's the worst of both worlds!

Which brings us to George Stroumboulopoulos. Strombo has been the whipping boy for anyone who hates change at the CBC. As the 'toon says, he "skews to the younger demographic," which was the complaint when he was brought over from Much Music. So he talks fast, get over it. I think I'll have to tune in to The Hour this week to see if we do get an armpit rhapsody.

So there's Canadian culture in a nutshell: hockey and complaining about the CBC.

Hour By Hour

It takes something big to take on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert on their own turf. I can’t say for sure what they are, but I think George Stroumboulopoulos got tagged in his.

The Hour returned to CBC this week after a summer hiatus and a blink-and-you-missed-it run at reality TV in the U.S. for George. But The One did not stick to Strombo who is back not only as the lead primetime show on Newsworld, but as the 11 p.m. show on the main network. That’s one tough slot when you are targeting young news junkies, but a good move for CBC. They are already running the show once, so rebroadcasting it instead of a shortened version of The National makes sense and shows great faith in Strombo’s ability to pick up some younger viewers for the Mother Corp.

It’s the second season and not much has changed – which is just fine with me. He still talks, as the segment says, a mile a minute, jumping from North Korea to hockey stars and inane minutia of celebrity culture. What has changed is the website, which still has a few glitches, is a vast improvement from the clips-only version from last year. The previous night’s show streams on the site, so you non-Canadian readers can see what I’m talking about.

So can he take on Stewart? All I know is I don’t have to make the choice – I have a PVR. (And those of you landing here looking for studio audience tickets, go here instead.)

The One Equals Zero

After only two episodes The One: The Making of a Music Star is no more and CBC It Boy George Stroumboulopoulos can pull his motorbike out of storage and get back to his vacation.

ABC pulled the plug after ratings started in the shitter and went down from there. I really don’t know why they expected differently To quote The Simpsons: “These are the people who saw an overcrowded marketplace and said, ‘Me too!’" Here in Canada, on the night CBC aired The One, you could also watch Canadian Idol on CTV and Rockstar: Supernova on Global and they are all essentially the same show.

There was a lot of fuss when the CBC picked up the simulcast and bumped The National, with a lot of wailing and hair pulling over whether or not the mother corp should even be running reality shows. Stroumboulopoulos argued during an interview on Sounds Like Canada that if Canadians are watching reality shows, shouldn’t the national broadcaster be involved. Maybe so, but if so maybe they should aim for something more original than some wannabe rock stars grasping for the stars.

Anyway, I’m sure none of this will stick to Strombo and we’ll soon see him back on The Hour where he can do more than cut to commercial. And hopefully the CBC will drop any plans to run a Canadian version of The One – leave that to Idol.

The One's Not The One

I said that I would watch The One: Making a Music Star and now that the unpleasantness is over, I can hopefully erase it from my brain and never speak of it again.

Too harsh? I think not. First off, what was the show? It had all the reality competition elements in line:
Desperately needy singers needing the validation of fame? Check
Standard three-person judging panel, consisting of two men and a woman of varying insider knowledge? Check.
Live audience cheering on performances of songs 10 to 20 years older than themselves. Check.
Slick host with extremely long name? Double check. More on him later.

There was also some Survivor with everyone living together (but not much backstabbing); some Big Brother (but not much heat); and generous helpings of Idol.

The reason I tuned in, as I alluded to, was due to the hosting of George Stroumboulopoulos, the host of CBC’s The Hour. It is unusual to see a Canadian to talk the helm of a big U.S. show, but it may be too bad that this was the one he landed. Strombo was his usual slick self, decked out in head-to-toe black, moving the show along with his trademark motor mouth ways. Sadly, he had very little opportunity to shape the show in his own image, just introducing the singers and segueing between commercials, duties that can be handled by any Seacrest or Mulroney. Maybe this will change, but I don’t plan to find out.

The problem is, nobody could sing. As with all other reality singing contests, they covered songs they wouldn’t ever listen to themselves while showing off vocal theatrics best left to the Mariah’s of this world. The judges of course gushed endlessly after each mini-song, claiming each of them to potentially be The One,” while giving them heavy life lessons during pre-taped segments. They will help decide who stays and goes, but my PVR didn’t tape last night’s episode so I don’t know who got the boot and I don’t find myself caring.

It appears not many others did either, with just 236,000 Canadian viewers. After all the consternation over The One bumping The National for an hour, the news program more than doubled that audience. In the States it picked up 3.2 million viewers, only good enough for fifth in its time slot.

I don’t know who will become The One, but I know this show isn’t it.

CBC Beckons Cool

What’s gotten into the CBC these days? They are coming across all hipstery (at least some of the time). I’m up at the cottage again (hence my lackadaisical posting – dialup sucks) and listening to a lot of CBC Radio One. The flagship show Sounds Like Canada is being guest-hosted by Jian Ghomeshi, host of the National Playlist and former frontman of Moxy Fruvous and his Canada sounds a lot cooler than I’m used to hearing on the national broadcaster.

Yesterday, after our morning dip, he interviewed Owen Pallett of Final Fantasy, who has been short listed for the Polaris music prize for his album He Poos Clouds. Pallett is also responsible for arranging the string section for Montreal’s Arcade Fire, giving him a hipster trifecta. Mainstream Canada likely didn’t know what hit them.

Today Jian – who once serenaded me with Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy” – was talking to two members of Montreal’s The Stills about their latest album. They are best know for their fantastic album Logic Will Break Your Heart, of which several songs ended up on Zach Braff’s Garden State soundtrack. Even they were arguing that they aren’t all that well known.

Tomorrow alt-country superstar and member of Vancouver’s New Pornographers, Neko Case, will be on the show talking about her latest album. Very cool. It’s good to see the CBC assuming that there are more than just parents listening to them, and while I’m no youngster I’m pleased to hear music that is often relegated to college stations getting a coast-to-coast airing.

On a related note, seems CBC TV is following through on the trend and have seconded designated hipster and The Hour host George Stroumboulopoulos to ABC to host their reality music show, The One: Making a Music Star. This is the Idol-esque show that they are simulcasting and pushing Peter Mansbridge and The National out of the way for. When its run is over, a Canadian version will air, doubtlessly to be hosted by Stroumbo, despite protestations that there are no plans in the works.

I don’t know how successful yet another music reality show will be, but letting the charismatic Stroumbo take the reins at least gives it a shot. It starts next Tuesday, so I’ll at least tune in for the opener.

(Speaking of guest hosts, I may have one or two over the next couple of days. Play nice with them.)