The Cuddly, Teutonic Herzogalot-Bear

Your children will love Herzogalot-Bear as he lulls them to sleep with tales of natures relentless brutality. (From Brandon Bird)

Previously on Popped Culture...

Werner Herzog Reads Where's Waldo?

Werner Herzog Reads Madeline

Curious George Learns A Hard Lesson About Desire

Starship Care Bears

"This is for all you new bears: I only have one rule. Everyone fights. No one quits. You don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself. You get me?"

I'm so pleased to know the Care Bears finally started kicking some ass — all the greeting-card inspired caring just got to be too much. Everyone fights. No one quits from Lead Paint. (Link via Culture Kills)

Previously on Popped Culture...
The Toy Rebellion
Care Bear Carnage
Sgt. Shortcake And Rambo Brite

The Don't Care Bears

Even gray, scowling and wielding weaponry, these bears are unbearably cute. (Don't Care Bears by Alex Solis)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Care Bear Carnage
It's Hard Out There For A Smurf
Birth Of The King

Sgt. Shortcake And Rambo Brite

Two things: 1) If you've been on the internet, your childhood, among other things, has been destroyed. 2) Some Hollywood studio is probably writing a script for this. (My Cage via The Daily What)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Cartoon Girls Gone Wild
My Little Pony Madness
Rainbow Brite Bloodbath

Care Bear Carnage

Tenderheart Bear got his name for tenderizing the hearts of his enemies — such as Teddy Ruxpin above — and not from helping his fellow Care Bears be the most caring they can be. (Carebear Carnage via Jude Buffum)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Stake Through The Heart Bear
The Toy Rebellion 
Sideways: The Video Game 

Stake Through The Heart Bear

Now if only the Ewok could only impale itself after jabbing the part of my brain that remembers them and the Care Bears then all would be right with the universe. (Ultimate Badass via Savage Chickens)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Scooby-Doo And The Prince of Denmark
The Toy Rebellion
You're A Heartbreaker, Dream Maker, Love Taker 

The Toy Rebellion

"Strawberry Shortcake's the humorless leader of the Rebellion against Brainy Smurf. Never far from her is Kit, a strange, cat-like child found near her dead twin brother after the war. She's emotionless and mute, but follows Shortcake everywhere she goes."

Tom Kyzivat, aka Murderous Automaton, tells the tall of a post-apocalyptic battle of '80s toys against Brainy Smurf, who "overthrew Papa Smurf because he wouldn't embrace science; he just hid behind his magic and superstitions. Afterward he used his science and industry to rule all the lands with a tiny iron fist!"

"Grumpy Bear is the only surviving Care Bear after his homeland was destroyed by Brainy Smurf, so he seeks revenge, along with the other rebels."

I can't wait to see the rest of the series. (Link via The Zeray Gazette)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Cartoon Girls Gone Wild
Rainbow Brite Bloodbath
David Croenenburg's Cabbage Patch Kids

You're A Heartbreaker, Dream Maker, Love Taker

When it comes to hearts, one size doesn't fit all. Some like the Grinch have a heart "two sizes too small," while others like Frankenstein's monster have one that is broken. Get They Beat The Same from shirt.woot.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Crime Lords of Oz
Away In A Monster Mash
David Croenenburg's Cabbage Patch Kids

David Croenenburg's Cabbage Patch Kids

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

Transformers and GI Joe are just the first in a long line of movies based on toys from your childhood.

Includes:
Care Bears vs. My Little Pony: The Reckoning
Peter Jackson's The Smurfs
David Lynch's Koosh Ball
John Carpenter's Alf
Wes Anderson's Teddy Ruxpin

From Dan Meth, who writes: "You can tell you are an adult when Hollywood is producing movies based on your childhood shows and toys."

Previously on Popped Culture...
Rainbow Brite Bloodbath
My Little Pony Madness
Terror Gallops On All Fours