And Stop Calling Me 'Nip'!

Seinfeld references meets Red Hot Chili Pepper's album Mother's Milk in Augie Pagan’s "Elaine's elusive red hot nips.” See more at Gallery 1988’s Art Show About Nothing.

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Newman & Calvin In Tales Of The Post

This is would be one torturous workplace. Adam Limbert shows us what going postal really means.

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Unreal Estate

Gah, Tim Doyle's work is so awesome! Here is the full set of prints from his Unreal Estate show at Spoke Art.

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Serenity Now: The Seinfeld Thriller

With a few choice edits Newman turns psychotic. Umm, more so. (Link via The Ampersand)

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What's the deal with attractive, dull twenty-somethings? Seinfeld as reinterpreted by the CW network. Don't laugh, they could do it. (Link via Buzzfeed)

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I got 99 Seinfeld References and a Bro is one of them. Artist Kiersten Essenpreis has piled up a giant heap of Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer ephemera and provided a reference key for those, like me, who give up too easily. (Link via Neatorama)

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Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?
TV's Greatest Icons

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

"How you doin? I love it when a plan comes together. Is that your final answer? Yeah, that’s the ticket. D’oh!"

Cable network TV Land is counting down the Top 100 Greatest Catchphrases in December, but put out its list so we could all bicker and reminisce over their choices and presumably tune in and watch. OK, I’ll bite. Reading over their collection, I could picture so many of them, not just from the episodes, but from friends repeating them, t-shirts and parodies. Some of them were real monsters, but they have all lost their impact when stripped of context.

TV catchphrases really don’t add up to a whole lot of conversation, but they do tend to stick in your head. They also age poorly, being unable to escape the moment in time when they captured the elusive pop culture zeitgeist. I’m sure many of these phrases were a mixed blessing – helping to catapult a series and a star into the limelight and forcing them to repeat it for the rest of their lives. Just ask Gary Coleman. (Ok, not anymore: RIP.)

But with that being said, here’s my Top 10, chosen on the basis that I repeated these phrases at some point in my life, over and over and over again:

• D'oh! (Homer Simpson, The Simpsons)
• De plane! De plane! (Tattoo, Fantasy Island)
• Good night, John Boy. (The Waltons)
• Holy ______, Batman! (Robin, Batman)
• No soup for you! (Soup Nazi, Seinfeld)
• Oh my God! They killed Kenny! (Stan and Kyle, South Park)
• Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids! (Trix Cereal)
• Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis? (Arnold Drummond, Diff'rent Strokes)
• Yada, yada, yada... (Seinfeld)
• Yeah, that's the ticket. (Jon Lovitz, Saturday Night Live)

And now as a cheap ploy to fill an incredible amount of space, here is the full list:

- ... if it weren't for you meddling kids! (Various villains, Scooby Doo, Where Are You?)
- Aaay! (Fonzie, Happy Days)
- And that's the way it is. (Walter Cronkite, CBS Evening News)
- Ask not what your country can do for you ... (John F. Kennedy)
- Baby, you're the greatest. (Ralph Kramden, The Honeymooners)
- Bam! (Emeril Lagasse, Emeril Live)
- Book 'em, Danno. (Steve McGarrett, Hawaii Five-O)
- Come on down! (Johnny Olson, et al, The Price is Right)
- Danger, Will Robinson! (Robot, Lost in Space)
- De plane! De plane! (Tattoo, Fantasy Island)
- Denny Crane. (Denny Crane, Boston Legal)
- Do you believe in miracles? (Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics)
- D'oh! (Homer Simpson, The Simpsons)
- Don't make me angry... (David Banner, The Incredible Hulk)
- Dynomite! (J.J., Good Times)
- Elizabeth, I'm coming! (Fred Sanford, Sanford and Son)
- Gee, Mrs. Cleaver... (Eddie Haskell, Leave it to Beaver)
- God'll get you for that. (Maude, Maude)
- Good grief. (Charlie Brown, Peanuts Specials)
- Good night and good luck. (Edward R. Murrow, See It Now)
- Good night, John Boy. (The Waltons)
- Have you no sense of decency? (Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy)
- Heh heh... (Beavis & Butthead, Beavis and Butthead)
- Here it is, your moment of Zen. (Jon Stewart, The Daily Show)
- Here's Johnny! (Ed McMahon, The Tonight Show)
- Hey now! (Hank Kingsley, The Larry Sanders Show)
- Hey, hey, hey! (Dwayne Nelson, What's Happening!!)
- Hey, hey, hey! (Fat Albert, Fat Albert)
- Holy ______, Batman! (Robin, Batman)
- Holy crap! (Frank Barone, Everybody Loves Raymond)
- Homey don't play that! (Homey the Clown, In Living Color)
- How sweet it is! (Jackie Gleason, The Jackie Gleason Show)
- How you doin'? (Joey Tribbiani, Friends)
- I can't believe I ate that whole thing. (Alka Seltzer)
- I know nothing! (Sgt. Schultz, Hogan's Heroes)
- I love it when a plan comes together. (Hannibal, The A-Team)
- I want my MTV! (MTV)
- I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl... (Larry, Newhart)
- I'm not a crook. (Richard Nixon)
- I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV. (Vicks Formula 44)
- I'm Rick James, bitch! (Dave Chappelle as Rick James, Chappelle's Show)
- Is that your final answer? (Regis Philbin, Who Wants to be a Millionaire)
- It keeps going and going and going... (Energizer Batteries)
- It takes a licking... (Timex)
- Jane, you ignorant slut. (Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd, Saturday Night Live)
- Just one more thing... (Columbo, Columbo)
- Let's be careful out there. (Sgt. Esterhaus, Hill Street Blues)
- Let's get ready to rumble! (Michael Buffer, Various sporting events)
- Live long and prosper. (Spock, Star Trek)
- Making whoopie! (Bob Eubanks, The Newlywed Game)
- Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (Jan Brady, The Brady Bunch)
- Mom always liked you best. (Tommy Smothers, The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour)
- Never assume... (Felix Unger, The Odd Couple)
- Nip it! (Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show)
- No soup for you! (Soup Nazi, Seinfeld)
- Norm! (Cheers)
- Now cut that out! (Jack Benny, The Jack Benny Program)
- Oh my God! They killed Kenny! You bastards! (Stan and Kyle, South Park)
- Oh, my nose! (Marcia Brady, The Brady Bunch)
- One small step for man... (Neil Armstrong)
- Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon? (Grey Poupon)
- Read my lips: No new taxes! (George H.W. Bush)
- Resistance is futile. (Picard as Borg, Star Trek: The Next Generation)
- Say good night, Gracie. (George Burns, The Burns & Allen Show)
- Schwing! (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth, Saturday Night Live)
- Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy. (Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle)
- Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids! (Trix Cereal)
- Smile, you're on Candid Camera! (Candid Camera)
- Sock it to me. (Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In)
- Space, the final frontier... (Capt. Kirk, Star Trek)
- Stifle! (Archie Bunker, All in the Family)
- Suit up! (Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother)
- Tastes great! Less filling! (Miller Lite Beer)
- Tell me what you don't like about yourself. (Dr. McNamara & Dr. Troy, Nip/Tuck)
- That's hot. (Paris Hilton, The Simple Life)
- The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat. (Jim McKay, ABC's Wide World of Sports)
- The tribe has spoken. (Jeff Probst, Survivor)
- The truth is out there. (Fox Mulder, The X-Files)
- This is the city... (Sgt. Joe Friday, Dragnet)
- Time to make the donuts. (Dunkin' Donuts)
- Two thumbs up! (Siskel & Ebert / Ebert & Roeper)
- Up your nose with a rubber hose. (Vinnie Barbarino, Welcome Back, Kotter)
- We are two wild and crazy guys! (Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd, Saturday Night Live)
- Welcome to the O.C., bitch. (Luke, The O.C.)
- Well, isn't that special? (Dana Carvey as The Church Lady, Saturday Night Live)
- We've got a really big show! (Ed Sullivan, The Ed Sullivan Show)
- Whassup? (Budweiser)
- What you see is what you get! (Geraldine, The Flip Wilson Show)
- Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis? (Arnold Drummond, Diff'rent Strokes)
- Where's the beef? (Wendy's)
- Who loves you, baby? (Kojak, Kojak)
- Would you believe? (Maxwell Smart, Get Smart)
- Yabba dabba do! (Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones)
- Yada, yada, yada... (Seinfeld)
- Yeah, that's the ticket. (Jon Lovitz, Saturday Night Live)
- You eeeediot! (Ren, Ren & Stimpy)
- You look mahvelous! (Billy Crystal as Fernando, Saturday Night Live)
- You rang? (Lurch, The Addams Family)
- You're fired! (Donald Trump, The Apprentice)
- You've got spunk... (Mr. Grant, Mary Tyler Moore)

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Celebrity See, Celebrity Do

Hang him upside down and stick a fork in him, Michael Richards career is done. Already fading away, the former K-K-Kramer decided to give his career a poorly thought out publicity boost, Mel Gibson style.

During a failed piece of standup last Friday, Richards was taunted about his lack of comedy skill, and he decided to prove the heckler right by launching into a racial epithet-laden rage that cleared the room. Richards, who is Exhibit One of The Seinfeld Curse, has already begun the de rigueur rounds of celebrity apologies – most likely because his What’s the Deal With N-----s? routine was posted in all its bigoted glory on the gossip site TMZ.

Appearing last night on the Late Show with David Letterman during a segment with Jerry Seinfeld, Richards said he was sorry and that he was not a racist. If that doesn’t take, expect to see him check in to rehab in the next week for drugs/alcohol/exhaustion or a tearful admission to Oprah about being abused as a child. As Cosmo’s former lawyer Jackie Chiles would have said: “It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.”

In other news, it appears Fox has finally found something that even they find unpalatable. The usually, umm, cutthroat Rupert Murdoch has put the kibosh on O.J. Simpsons “fictional” confession If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. Seems the tycoon came to the realization that an interview and book of Simpson graphically describing how he would have carried out the 1994 murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, stating that it “was an ill-considered project.” Gee, ya think? Anyway, I’m glad to see them come to their senses and I just hope it isn’t all being saved for MySpace.