These Pretzels Are Making Me Racist

The Michael “Kramer” Richards apology tour is so transparent it’s painful to watch – yet I cannot look away. Today the disgraced “funny man” appeared on Rev. Jesse Jackson’s radio show to do his mea culpa shuck and jive, which would be OK if it wasn’t so contrived. Last Wednesday he hired publicist Howard Rubenstein, who reportedly has strong ties to the black community. His first order of business? Setting up a call to Jackson.

What’s making this so galling is how obvious it is that Richards is being told how to limit the damage of his comedy lynching of two hecklers. It’s like a little kid apologizing because he’s being forced to, not because he feels sorry. Why Jackson agreed to be Cosmo’s beard is a mystery. Richards’ puppet master also announced that the so-called comedian has begun psychiatric counselling for anger management – it’s not quite rehab, but it’s close.

In another “everybody does it” excuse Richards claimed the racial epithet he spewed during his act is used frequently in the entertainment industry. “I fear that young whites will think it's cool to go around and use that word because they see very cool people in show business using that word so freely.” Oh yeah, teenagers will be swearing like Richards because he’s so very hip. I still have my bets that the tour will make a stop at Oprah’s this week.

Speaking of comeback attempt tours, Britney Spears is trying hard to shed her mom of two image and she’s dancing like she’s never danced before. More to the point she’s been partying all weekend with Paris Hilton, sans underwear.

Taking a page from the world’s most famous heir-head, the newly single Spears flashed a throng of paparazzi, showing her thong-less self to the flashbulbs. At least she didn’t have one of her kids with her, so no need to apologize.

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  1. Best Michael Richards is a racist entry title ever!

  2. Thanks MC - My sisters and I were joking around on the weekend and that one just popped out. I had to post something just to use it. Sad, but true.

  3. I don't understand why everyone is spending so much time on this Michael Richards thing. Everyone keeps saying this will end his career. I keep asking, "what career?" The guy's a one trick pony, and he's done his trick. Can we all please go back to watching Seinfeld reruns?

  4. True, I had mostly forgotten about him except for the occasional Seinfeld Curse reference. But speaking of Seinfeld reruns, I read recently that Jerry still pulls in $100 million a year for the syndication and DVD rights, so I can see why he made Richards appear on Letterman - he doesn't want his cash cow damaged.

  5. LOL. I am sure his people are talking to Oprah's people. LOL


  6. Damn, MC took my comment almost word for word.

    Nice additional reference in the first sentence as well :)

  7. Haha, yeah, love that title! So Richards referred to himself as 'very cool'?