Green Eggs and Hamlet

I ask to be or not to be.
That is the question I ask of me.
This sullied life, it makes me shudder.
My uncle's boffing dear sweet mother.
Would I, could I take me life?
Could I, should I end this strife?
Should I jump out of a plane?
Or throw myself before a train?
Should I from a cliff just leap?
Could I put myself to sleep?
Shoot myself or take some poison?
Maybe try self-immolation?
To shudder off this mortal coil,
I could stab myself with a fencing foil.
Slash my wrists while in the bath?
Would it end my angst and wrath?
To sleep, to dream, now there's the rub.
I could drop a toaster in my tub.
Would all be glad if I were dead?
Could I perhaps kill them instead?
This line of thought takes consideration -
For I'm the king of procrastination.

(Image via Shirt.Woot; bad poetry via some ugly site)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Scooby-Doo And The Prince of Denmark
William Shakespeare's Pulp Fiction
Lots of Good Fun That Is Funny


  1. This is the most awesome thing that I've seen all week. Now I'm going to go Google "if Shakespeare had written" and see if anything else pops up.

  2. Nice addition on Neatorama, John! Never occurred to me to check YouTube. And yes, I'm kinda slow on the reading this week.

  3. Would be perfect if the meter was consistent.

  4. Hamlet is the greatest guy ever.

    &@ - The Web Series

  5. 15 years ago i rewrote the entire play into dr suess rhyme and filmed it.
    its available at