Lindsay Fully Loaded

Lindsay Lohan may soon be one of the most remembered actors of her generation and not for her role in Bobby or any of the other projects she has lined up. The National Enquirer is reporting that Lohan overdosed on a deadly cocktail of cocaine and painkillers earlier this month and had to be revived by a doctor. The doctor then flushed the cocaine and bagged seven different prescription drugs, telling the star she needed to go to a hospital and rehab. She did neither.

Becoming a serious actor and being lauded for your performances is one way to Hollywood immortality. The other is to die young and pretty, a la Marilyn Monroe. Though maybe she’s just a wealthy, famous 20-year-old who’s having a little fun. You know, a shining example for your little girl (or boy, who am I to gender stereotype?) But she’s not trying to be a role model, right? Well, then maybe her people should reconsider the My Scene Goes Hollywood: Lindsay Lohan and Limo doll set, which is described thusly:

“A great gift for ages 6-12 Years. The doll captures the likeness of Lindsay Lohan, and the fun trendy outfit expresses Lindsay's fashion-forward sense of style. The My Scene Lindsay Lohan doll is ready to hit the red carpet with a full movie premiere outfit, faux fur-trimmed coat, director's chair, velvet-style rope and lots of fun movie-themed accessories. Movie stars always arrive in style, and this luxurious SUV party limo is decked out with glitz and glam from door to door, including working lights, a beverage bar, fancy seats and a real hot tub.”

Ah yes, every little kid needs an SUV with a bar in it. At least it is realistic and you can slam it into Barbie’s camper, much like the real Lindsay does. Personally, I’m hoping for a Peter Doherty doll with Real Shooting Up Action for Christmas. (And thanks to Bulletproof Bracelets, where I first came across this wonderful toy.)


  1. Yeesh, and I thought Bratz dolls were disgusting.

    What next? A genuine Paris Hilton 'Spoiled stupid whore' video playset?

  2. Given Lohan's past behaviour, I'm not sure that a Lindsay Lohan doll is what little girls really need... Talk about someone who I wouldn't want as a role model for any daughter of mine....

  3. Wow. Talk about crappy timing.

    That girl...if she doesn't slow down she's going to end up like River Phoenix. The only difference: he had talent she has yet to prove hers.

  4. let her overdose and drop dead n front of Viper as well... hahahaha gurl with no talent, should die

  5. Anonymous' comments aside, I really appreciated your ironic take on all this. You poured just the right amount of scorn on the proceedings, and I can see why you're into the second round for Best Entertainment Blog at the Canadian Blog Awards.

    I'd like to invite you to join the Blogging Alliance of Non Partisan Canadians ( I'm always looking to add to the diverse mix that's there, and we could use more blogs like yours.

  6. Oh come now everyone, you're not thinking. Imagine how much those dolls would be worth should the young Ms. Lohan keel over. Is that too cynical? Ah well.

    And thanks James and good luck to you as well in the blog awards. I will be sure to check out the Blogging Alliance - thanks for the invite.