R.I.P Britney Spears

So Britney (or perhaps her manager and mother) finally came to her senses and cut off K-Fed, her wannabe rapper hubby. Congrats! You’ll soon be a 24-year-old single mother of two – just what every little girl dreams of. Her formerly glamorous career, now thoroughly slathered in tabloid mud, has been on a steady decline ever since Federline emerged from under his rock and wormed his way into the pop princess’ life.

Of course it's all too late anyway – he’s already sucked all the magic (and possibly money) out of her. She’s now an empty shell, an abandoned trailer up on blocks and K-Fed has run off with all the smokes and Cheetos. Before becoming Mr. Spears he was an unknown backup dancer, now two years later he has an album out which, no matter its artistic merit or lack thereof, is one more album than you and I have.

As for Britney she has had a meteoric career arc, from child star, to chart-topping pop ingénue to Beverly hillbilly, all in a short dozen years. That’s hardly what you would refer to as longevity. Sure, she’ll make a run at the charts again and the media will herald her comeback, but we will have moved on. She just can’t capture our attention in the same fashion anymore.

If her star hadn’t been tarnished enough, it looks like Fed-Ex isn’t going to go down without a fight and is seeking custody of his spawn and spousal support. Look for it to get ugly – what’s he got to lose? And if that wasn’t enough it looks like the last refuge of a dwindling celebrity career – the ubiquitous sex tape. Rumours of the tryst have floated about for years and now there is rampant speculation that Kevin may have leaked it as a bit of mean-spirited revenge. Again, it won’t hurt him any.

So long Britney – I know you won’t go away, but to me you’re already dead.


  1. I have to agree with everything, although I don't think she was ever a Beverly hillbilly. Didn't she come from the Louisiana swamps rather than the hills.... LOL.

  2. I think I referred to it as Spears finally taking some reality pills.

    who did not see this one coming!

    Thank god he has all that talent to fall back on haha.


  3. That's so true. On one hand I feel bad for her and on the other I can't help but think that she did it to herself.

    As for Fed-Ex...well, it's his right to ask for custody right? And I'm hoping to hell they don't give him the spousal support. Lame.

  4. Well, at least she had a prenup.

    That relationship wasn't gonna last, not for a second.

  5. Marina, you're correct about Fed-Ex having the right to ask for custody and I shouldn't be so blithe about it being a new dad myself. Of course I suspect he's hardly asking out of some sense of fatherly love. I recall he left his last wife while she was pregnant with their second.

    As for prenups, I suppose its good she had one but I think that if you feel you have to have one you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. That document is planning for the eventual, inevitable end of the marriage - I say why bother?

  6. It's weird. It's almost as if Britney is leading an accelerated life.

    Multi-million dollar recording artist (even in the Guiness Book of Records), boozy over-the-hill slag, twice divorced, single mom of 2... all by 24!

    What's next? Retirement? She's my age, for goodness sake.

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  8. ahhhh!!!

  9. phangirl - you are absolutely correct. She really hasn't had that long of a career and look at heights and depths already. She needs to follow some of mentor Madonna's trajectory if she wants to last - if it's not too late already.

    nasty - I've sent you an email with some template changes. Hope they help.

  10. If you are going to hate on Britney don't envoke Madonna's name, after all she saw the same kind of carrer problems in the mid-90's before she did the Bedtime Stories album, Erotica and Deep Blue were not huge hits and she kept her name in the publics mind by using her image (the sex book etc.).

    I know that it's the popular thing to question Britney's ability to chart on the Top 40 but let us not forget everyone said she was over with the last album and it ended up having one of the bigger hits of her carrer.

  11. Tell you what, we'll meet back here in 10 years and if people are still talking about Britney's career I will issue a mea culpa. See you in a decade!