The One's Not The One

I said that I would watch The One: Making a Music Star and now that the unpleasantness is over, I can hopefully erase it from my brain and never speak of it again.

Too harsh? I think not. First off, what was the show? It had all the reality competition elements in line:
Desperately needy singers needing the validation of fame? Check
Standard three-person judging panel, consisting of two men and a woman of varying insider knowledge? Check.
Live audience cheering on performances of songs 10 to 20 years older than themselves. Check.
Slick host with extremely long name? Double check. More on him later.

There was also some Survivor with everyone living together (but not much backstabbing); some Big Brother (but not much heat); and generous helpings of Idol.

The reason I tuned in, as I alluded to, was due to the hosting of George Stroumboulopoulos, the host of CBC’s The Hour. It is unusual to see a Canadian to talk the helm of a big U.S. show, but it may be too bad that this was the one he landed. Strombo was his usual slick self, decked out in head-to-toe black, moving the show along with his trademark motor mouth ways. Sadly, he had very little opportunity to shape the show in his own image, just introducing the singers and segueing between commercials, duties that can be handled by any Seacrest or Mulroney. Maybe this will change, but I don’t plan to find out.

The problem is, nobody could sing. As with all other reality singing contests, they covered songs they wouldn’t ever listen to themselves while showing off vocal theatrics best left to the Mariah’s of this world. The judges of course gushed endlessly after each mini-song, claiming each of them to potentially be The One,” while giving them heavy life lessons during pre-taped segments. They will help decide who stays and goes, but my PVR didn’t tape last night’s episode so I don’t know who got the boot and I don’t find myself caring.

It appears not many others did either, with just 236,000 Canadian viewers. After all the consternation over The One bumping The National for an hour, the news program more than doubled that audience. In the States it picked up 3.2 million viewers, only good enough for fifth in its time slot.

I don’t know who will become The One, but I know this show isn’t it.