Oh Lego, Has It Really Comes To This?

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of Lego Minifigures the company has released a series of celebrity Lego minifigs, including such luminaries as Amy Winehouse, Brangelina, Madonna and the Beckhams (see below).

I was going to go into a rant about how sad it was to see Lego feeling the need to jump on the celebrity bandwagon and associate its bricks with some of the tabloids most popular denizens, but I'm beginning to doubt the veracity of these figures.

I don't doubt they exist, but I'm having trouble believing they are from Lego. I think someone has done a fabulous job and leaked them to the entertainment press that eats all things celebrity. In an effort to track down the original source I spent way too much time scouring the web and following links to find the original story or press release, but to no avail. All I came across was a checklist of all the news "sources" I used to use during my stint as a celebrity news writer. British tabloids and sites that all use the same, unattributed information.

Anyway, it was the 30th anniversary of the figures last month, so that much is true. And of anyone can find out who really created these, I'd love to find out. Even if it really was Lego. Until then, let's hope it really was just a celebrity-induced nightmare.

Hollywood Economics

Skin commands a lot of money, more so if you are famous. I know, I’m hardly breaking news here, but there have been a couple of stories recently that shows what a pound of flesh is worth.

A few weeks ago, People magazine shelled out $4.1 million for pictures of the chosen one, Shiloh Nouvel Pitt-Jolie, setting the bar for Baby’s First Invasion of Privacy.

It appears $4 million is the going rate to see Ashlee Simpson as naked as the day she was born. In Touch Weekly says Playboy has offered the lip-syncher seven figures, under the assumption more people would prefer to look at her breasts than hear her sing.

"Ashlee figures she's never looked better, so this may be the perfect time to do it,” an insider told the magazine. "She feels confident and sexy and thinks this is one way for her to separate her image from (sister) Jessica's."

Yeah, getting everyone to stare at her body would really help define her differently than Jessica. Sadly, Ashlee has decided her body is not for sale, at least at that price anyway.

Which is, essentially, why we haven’t seen any pictures of Suri Cruise gracing the newsstand. The gossip magazine were only willing to pony up a measly $3 mill for Scientology’s latest poster child, and Tom and Katie (ok, Tom and his handlers) balked, refusing to sell out their kid for less than Brad and Angie got.

Which means Britney should expect a month’s supply of Cheeetos when she pops out her second born.

Go$$ip

The gossip wars have taken an interesting turn with the arrival of Brangelina’s baby Shiloh. Anyone who doesn’t think there’s serious money (and ego) at stake need only look at the battle raging over the first photos that hit the web. Reported Page Six yesterday:

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie got top dollar for the first pictures of baby Shiloh - but they made the weekly celeb glossies work for it. All the weekly magazine editors were summoned to the offices of the Getty photo agency at Canal and Varick late Saturday night. "We were sequestered into separate and un-air-conditioned offices," said one. "The photos were shown to us around 10 p.m. to midnight, and then we had to submit bids by 6 a.m. Sunday morning. No one got any sleep at all, as it was a manic game of phone-tag to top each other's bids. I'm convinced it was Brangie's revenge on the weekly magazines." The pictures went to People for $4.1 million.

But then the cover photo from Hello! was leaked and showed up all over the place. Everyone jumped on and it appears the celeb mags have freaked. Cease and desist letters have landed on the big gossip blogs Perez Hilton and Pink Is the New Blog and likely others, who have pulled the pic from their sites, at least temporarily. I even saw Perez’s version on Toronto’s CTV local newscast last night, complete with his scrawl on the picture. Those lawyers are going to be busy as you can easily find the photo even on the first page of Google images.

What this really shows is that these magazines are worried about their online gossip competitors. They should be – the sites are updated throughout the day and there are no publishing delays. Expect this fight to get nasty

As for me, I’m just illustrating the battle, not cashing in on the photos. Lawyers can send their complaints to the above email.

I'm No Celebrity

File these under Ways In Which My Life is Unlike a Celebrity:

•Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s lawyers have registered ShilohJoliePitt.com as a gift to the happy couple, commemorating the birth of their little one. I could be wrong, but I don’t think my lawyers will do the same for me this October. Oh right, I don’t have lawyers or my own domain either. Celeb kids, is there anything they don’t have? (Pic from Gallery of the Absurd)

• Is releasing a video of you floating about a pool the best way to confirm your pregnancy? If you are Anna Nicole, then answer is yes. Whatever happened to keeping things to yourself and retaining some privacy and dignity? Oh right, silly question.

• I don’t go to the hypnotist to cure my $100,000 in a day shopping addiction, like Lindsay Lohan does. I’m more worried about why I keep clucking like a chicken, which started somewhere around the time when I first saw a hypnotist. Maybe they can convince me yo replace the shirts I bought in university.

Brangelina's Pay for Play

A couple of days ago I was feeling sympathy for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They had gone to Namibia to hole up in a luxury resort to get away from the paparazzi trying to snap some candids of them and their yet-to-be-born baby and were feeling under siege.

"As for the press, we kindly ask for privacy so that we can enjoy this beautiful country with our children,” the couple pleaded in a joint statement. The Namibian Prime Minister Nahas Angula defended them, saying they should be left alone.

"This lady is expecting. You guys are harassing her. Why don't you allow her some privacy? If a person says they don't want to be photographed then, of course, that person deserves protection."

I felt for them. Leave them alone, I thought, they aren’t playing the publicity game, they are just trying to have some privacy. Oh what a sucker I am. Seems they don’t mind a little coverage, as long as it is under their own terms.

On Wednesday's Today show, correspondent Ann Curry described her trip to Namibia, where she exclusively interviewed Jolie, as "wonderful." (Thanks to Celebrity Nation for the pic.) The segment will air on Thursday’s Today and Sunday’s Dateline, where Jolie will explain that the public's interest causes her to "giggle.” Ahh, ain’t that sweet.

Meanwhile Namibia’s Ministry of Information is requiring any journalist visiting to cover the Pitt-Jolie stay "will have to be accompanied by proof of consent that the couple had agreed to meet with them,” one photographer was pepper sprayed by a security guard and there is a no-fly-zone over the resort. As well there are reports that Jolie has sold exclusive rights for the first pictures of the baby to People, which would in turn donate $3.5 million to UNICEF.

And there goes my sympathy.

My Gossip Runneth Over

Really, how is one to keep up with Hollywood these days? If all the stars publicists could get together and plan out a schedule, it would be a lot easier for us to keep up. Today we heard:

• Angelina Jolie is pregnant with a little Pitt. There was much conversation at my workplace about whether she is a homewrecker and if the couple should admit publicly that they are indeed a couple -- both issues seemed to have an obvious answer to me. Celebs are fun to talk about, no matter how inane the topic. Why else would we care about them? Their acting ability? Ha, ha, ha.

• Colin Farrell is as dirty as we always thought. His much-rumoured sex tape finally surfaced on the web (as all self-filmed celeb pornos do) at DirtyColin.com, which promptly crashed from all the traffic. Probably his best debut yet. You can read more at Jossip and see screen grabs from What Would Tyler Durden Do? I'd usually just post one, but I can't bring myself to do it.

• Of course the one that amuses me the most is not from today, but I've been busy -- didn't you just read those other bits? Anyway, looks like Quentin Tarantino has been reading his own press again, and now believes he is the source of all that is good in film, whining to the Sunday Mirror:

"I'm annoyed that the James Bond producers never even called me up to talk to me about it because I can tell you they would not be making Casino Royale if I hadn't talked about it first. They should have called me. Especially since they are taking my idea and they are taking the publicity I gave them towards that idea. They should have at least out of courtesy had coffee with me."

Oh, get over yourself Quentin, like nobody in Hollywood has ever thought of remaking a film (King Kong) or reinventing a series (Batman Begins). You're a great director, but you aren't getting this gig. Get over it.