Steven Page Has Drugs In His Pocket

In honour of Barenaked Ladies front man Steven Page and his recent arrest for snorting coke through a Candian bill while at his girlfriend's, roomate's apartment in Syracuse, NY, I present La La La Lines. (Cocaine slang starting with L from Argot and apologies to Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie.)

Ed:
Hello Steve.

Steve: Oh. Hi Ed. Someone left these lines here and I don't know what to do with them.

Ed: Why don't you put them right in the middle of your nose?

Steve: Yeah, thanks.

Ed: No, I'm just kidding. They're not my lines. Um, I was thinking though, you could sing like a "La La La" song.

Steve: Yeah, that sounds great.

Ed: No, I'm serious. You could sing some "La La La's" and then some pretty words that start with "L." You'd have a nice little song there.

Steve: Oh you mean like "La La La?"

Ed: No, come on, give it a try.

Steve: La, la, la, la... lines
La, la, la, la, Line cocaine

Ed: I guess.

Steve: La, la, la, la, Lady snow. This is fun.
La, la, la, la, leaf marijuana

Ed: I think we're almost there. I just, I was thinking more sort of, you know, loverly lilting words that start with "L." Like this...
La, la, la, la, Love affair

Steve: Uh-ha.

Ed: La, la, la, la, lace

Steve: I see.

Ed: La, la, la, la, lady

Steve: Ahhhhhh!

Ed: La, la, la, la, lights in the sky.

Steve: I got one. You are going to love this one!

Ed: I love it already. Let's hear it.

Steve: Here we go...
La, la, la, LEGAL TROUBLE!

Ed: *Sighs* Listen to me
'Cause, "L" is such a lovely letter
For words like Lady caine and lace
The lines lights up your face
So why not la, la, la, la, laaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Steve: La, la, la, la, laaaaaaah...

Both: ...with me!

[Fading...]
La, la, la, la, lines
La, la, la, la, Love affair
La, la, la, la, Lady snow
La, la, la, la, Line cocaine

7 comments:

  1. So that's how he lost the weight.

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  2. I'm mostly surprised that anyone was surprised.

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  3. It's such a shame that this happened. I think Steven Page is a great guy that just got caught up in bad behavior. Besides, he wrote some of my favorite Barenaked Ladies songs.

    I hope everything works out okay and they can go record their new album soon!

    ~Jim

    The Laptop Sessions Cover Songs

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  4. I adore Steve and hope he can rise above this and get his life back on track.

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  5. His girlfriend, Benedicto, is clearly nuts, if her mugshot is any indication. Apparently it was her crazy antics that started that whole ball rolling, right up to the arrival of the police (they'd come to find out why she'd left the car parked haphazardly in the street, with the door hanging open). It's none of my business, but it sounds a lot like SP should smarten up and go home to his wife.

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