Finally! Suds Minus The Centre!

So I just spent the weekend in Chi Town at my 20 year high school reunion and, while there are many experiences that I can't elaborate on, I did discover this gem in my hotel room at The James that is PG rated enough to share:

Behold, the magical soap that "eliminates the unused center of traditional soap"! Thank the Lord! Finally someone found a way to eradicate that pesky centre! And, yes, I am conforming to Canadian spelling here. Cause I'm compulsively Canuck that way. Anyhoo, I have spent that past 37 years thinking "Damn. This centre sure is useless. I wonder how much waste we could reduce if we bounced it?" as I rubbed and sudsed that Ivory between my hands. I mean, all it does is get smaller...and smaller...and smaller...It's not like it just slowly disappears into a sliver that you eventually bond to a new bar, so I applaud these geniuses. I only have a few questions:

• What happens when this beaut finally gives it all up and breaks into pieces harsher than Lohan and SamRo?


• Doesn't everything have a centre?


• And if everything has a centre, doesn't this configuration now have multiple centres?

Call me a Luddite, just pass me the Irish Spring!

Pamela Westoby guesting and ghosting while Barker cottages. Where he's hopefully still using soap. With centres. If you like this, you might just like my book Hoyden and my flickr!