As always, Gallery of the Absurd never fails to cut to the heart of the celebrity condition. Meet Britocchio is an animated wooden puppet who longs to be a real girl.
While yammering on last week about the reason that talent-free hacks try out for American Idol, I suggested it was for the obvious reason that it works. Being extremely bad is a quicker way to fame and fortune than being moderately good. Tabloid Baby has followed the trajectory of Kenneth Briggs and Jonathan Jayne, otherwise known as Bush Baby and his fat friend. Watch out William Hung, they are after your crown.
The Gilded Moose introduces me to a new word for the week: cooteninja, which is defined in part as:
1. to be confronted with woman parts accidentally.Anyone who’s been reading celebrity gossip blogs lately has been cooteninja’ed.
Used in a sentance : "Oh, damn, I was looking for hotel options in Paris, but I was cooteninja'ed instead."
I knew the Pandora’s box that was holding heirhead Paris Hilton’s most treasured possessions was opened this week, revealing far more than was ever found in Al Capone’s vault. With that in mind I decided not to look, just in case my eyes melted, Indiana Jones style. Oh how I wish I had kept that promise to myself. I Don’t Like You in That Way reveals the horrible contents: herpes meds, evidence she may have miscarried and loads and loads of nekid pictures. Shudder.
Cityrag was a little treasure trove, introducing me to Pretty on the Outside and one of the most disturbing pictures I’ve ever seen, even with the blurring: Kelly Osbourne in Playboy. Again with the eyes melting. Go to the site for much, much more.
Jossip translates a “serious media” story on Katies Holmes and shows why papers should stay far, far away from gossip.