Ain’t No Cure For Love

Nothing says love like having five would-be fathers for your baby. The potential sperm donors are lining up to claim parentage of Anna Nicole Smith’s bundle of money baby and each is stranger than the next. There’s photographer Larry Birkhead, her lawyer Howard K. Stern, her bodyguard Alexander Denk, and the two truly bizarre: Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Prince Frederic von Anhalt and Anna Nicole’s long-dead husband J. Howard Marshall via an artificial insemination. What a romantic tale – she inspires us even in death!

Speaking of odd couples, Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise are teaming up for a big screen version of The Hardy Boys – The Mystery of Studio Greenlighting, I assume.

But enough of the mushy stuff, time to hit something. Now you too can make like an over-reacting Boston bomb squad and as you try and take out as many Lite Brite versions of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Moonites as possible. It’s like Whack-a-Mole, so of course I couldn’t resist. When I was done my haircut rating was hipster. I’m assuming that’s a good thing. Despite all the hype, rating for ATHF aren’t improving, leading the head of the Cartoon Network to resign last week over the controversy. This proves the lesson learnt by Snakes on a Plane – just because something is a web phenomenon doesn’t mean people will watch it.

Which, inevitably, leads me to Vanilla Ice. The infamous white rapper, who wishes he was a C-list celeb, has been hired by TurboTax to promote their Tax Rap contest. Rob Van Winkle busts out the finance rhymes and lays down the gauntlet for Kevin Ferderline as the two battle for the King of Self parody crown.


  1. Now I don't wonder if there are gambling odds on this whole paternity thing but rather what they are at the moment.

  2. What a crazy world we live in ,maybe neither of them guys are the father and its vanilla ice :)
    Thanks for stoppin by my blog.

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  4. I don't know which is odder, the guys queuing up to claim paternity of Anna Nicole's baby, or Vanilla Ice actually getting a job....

  5. Hi J: Thanks for your kind words on my site. Your blog, as always, continues to be sterling.

    Re: Anna, the stream of would-be fathers of her baby are clearly hoping to cash in: Ms. Smith's court wranglings have now ceased in her name obviously, but the baby could be very rich, if and when she wins the money her mother was fighting for.

  6. I found a site called Wager Web, which had posted odds on the parentage:
    The odds posted on are as follows:
    Howard K. Stern 1:2
Larry Birkhead 1:1
Prince Frederick von Anhalt 2:1
Field (anyone else) 4:1

    For a potential half a billion dollars, if I thought my genetic material had a shot, I'd throw my hat into the ring too.

  7. A tax rap by Vanilla Ice....scary.

  8. i Don't know which is older, but its look like scary at some where.