KITT vs. the General Lee

When I was a kid the coolest car in the world was the General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard. The fiery orange 1969 Dodge Charger helped the Duke boys jump over a myriad of collapsed Hazzard County bridges as they were makin' their way, the only way they knew how. Which, as we know, was just a little bit more than the law would allow. I wanted that car.

Just a few years later came a new challenger to the throne, with a young(ish) David Hasselhoff driving a black Trans Am called KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand). It was sleek, shiny and oh, so ‘80s. Now I wanted that car – my tastes were so fickle.

Now, for around $700,000 or so I could own them both. A version of KITT is up for sale in California for a mere $149,995. Sadly, as my life isn’t anything at all like a TV show as I expected when I was 12, the car cannot drive at 300mph, isn’t artillery resistant and won’t talk to me in a snooty English accent. But the red light under the front hood still works, so that’s something.

Over on eBay you can pick up a version of the General Lee from none other than Bo Duke himself, Jon Schneider. Current bid is $525,099. This particular model was never on the show as they drove the hell out them, usually destroying a couple per episode, but it was in a Dukes movie and was the prototype for the recent Jessica Simpson revival.

Back in the day I would have happily argued which car was better and which would win in a fight, but in the TV world KITT would win, hands down. But, in what I’m loosely calling real life, I’d put my money on the General. First, nobody should want a Trans-Am unless you are eight or having a mid-life crisis. Second, the Charger is just way cooler and built to bashed about. KITT is probably mostly fiberglass now. Sure, the General has a huge Confederate flag on the roof, but whatcha gonna do?

My plan is to settle this once and for all. Should I win the lottery this week, I am going to buy both of these cars and have them driven into each other at full speed, preferably on some dusty country road. It should be a spectacular crash. It’s what I did with my cars when I was a kid.