Putting The Cat In Cataclysm


So it's been raining torrents for the past couple of days here in Toronto, scuttling yet another summer's weekend and naturally indicating that The Reckoning is upon us. And so I spent the afternoon doing what most folks do on soggy Sundays - recovering from last night's ping pong tourney and searching for survival gear for Bucky. I mean, Bucky's cute, but he ain't no Michael Phelps. And he certainly ain't no Hawkeye. Hawkeye's da bomb. He sashays underwater like Esther Williams in Dangerous When Wet. When I showed Bucky this clip of Hawkeye in action, he just yawned and said that Hawkeye clearly didn't care about the effects of chlorine on his coat. And that the "mangy" (his words, not mine) Mutley was surely flea-ridden.




Methinks someone feels a little outshone...It's clear, however, that Bucky will never don a self-contained breathing apparatus and so I was forced to shop around for feline floatation devices, lest he squander his nine lives. Aside from the requisite Hello Kitty boots:





I figured I'd also pop for one of these nifty Float-A-Pet flotation collars (link via engadget):



And, of course, one of these uber-chic pet umbrellas. But only cause Bucky loves Rihanna.
Recognizing that The Reckoning will likely entail more than a Biblical deluge, I'd have been remiss if I hadn't also investigated other pet survival items such as the pet earthquake jacket:



This little piece of sartorial safety gear comes replete with aromatherapy that will help ward off the stench of decomp. Or in Toronto's case, the 2009 CUPE garbage strike (link via luxurylaunches and geekologie).

And if things should go all The Day After, Bucky would be completely covered. Literally:



Course Bucky could really care less about all the preparations I'm mulling over. He's more interested in grooming his privates and napping on his very dry couch like an insolent teen. But proper parenting ain't about gratitude - it's about worrying now so you don't worry later as the survivalists like to say. And about self-soothing with booze. Preferably Heineken.


Pamela Westoby guesting and ghosting while Barker cottages. Likely in the rain. If you like this, you might just like my book Hoyden and my flickr!

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Where did you find the cat earthquake jacket? I'd love to post this on Neatorama. Of course, I'll hat tip you.

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  3. Holy Cat Gear Batman! I'm from Toronto too...what a bummer summer eh? Not only did we get pounded with the winter that threatened to never end, but then got whacked with the summer that wouldn't begin...

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  4. Yep. Bucky'll be sufficiently kitted out for a disaster. I just need to boost his marksmanship at the range and we can say "Bring it on, Red Dawn"...lol...And, yeah, it's been a total bummer summer - I'm hoping it'll get it together in August, though, so we can at least enjoy SOME heat in the Big Smoke...lol...

    Re. the nifty earthquake jacket - thanks and post away! I found it and the Float-A-Pet on a number of different sites, but my hat tips would be http://www.luxurylaunches.com/pets/japans_antiearthquake_pet_suits.php and http://www.geekologie.com/2007/10/dog_rescue_jacket_saves_lives.php. Gotta love how the Japanese think of everything!

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