Suck on These Salty Balls

Say everybody have you seen my balls / they're big and salty and brown. / If you ever need a quick pick me up / just stick my balls in your mouth.Isaac Hayes has shafted South Park. The deep voice of the smooth-talking, libidinous Chef wants to leave the mountain town full of foul-mouthed kids.

It’s not the swearing, it’s the show’s "inappropriate ridicule of religious communities." In a statement asking to be released from his contract, Hayes explained what he thought was going wrong with the show.

“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins. Religious beliefs are sacred to people and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.”

The show has not had any qualms about mocking religion, with Catholics, priests, Jesus, Jews, Mormons and the Devil all landing in the sites of the satiric ‘toon. But it appears that it may have been the episode on Scientology “starring” Tom Cruise and John Travolta that set off Hayes, a practicing Scientologist himself.

"This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology," series co-creator Matt Stone told the Associated Press. "He has no problem – and he's cashed plenty of checks – with our show making fun of Christians."

Hayes must have a thin skin when the subject is close to him as he wasn’t bothered by the South Park boys only a couple of months ago, telling the New York Daily News: “I love the humor in it, the audacity of Matt (Stone) and Trey (Parker). They have the b-s to do what they do. Nobody is exempt from their humor. They're equal-opportunity offenders. Don't be offended by it. If you take it too seriously, you have problems.”

Not much I can add to that.

Sadly, the show is set to run until 2008 and may last well beyond that, which could mean years without Chef’s musical, if off-colour, advice. And that is a loss for all of us.

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