Might As Well Dump

Does Van Halen have a shred of decency left? Do they have any respect for their legacy, back when mulleted-teen headbangers referred to Eddie as a guitar god? Do they remember when they were cool, maybe even dangerous? (I don’t know how dangerous they really were, but my local radio station wouldn’t play Hot For Teacher during prime hours. Dangerous in the sense that they annoyed parents, and that was good enough for me.)

Whatever scraps of street cred they’ve managed to retain will soon be thrown to the wind as the reports are piling up that they are the next band to be featured on Rock Star, producer Mark Burnett’s create-a-star reality show. The show last made a sensation out of Canadian J.D. Fortune as the new lead singer for washed-up rockers INXS, replacing the auto-erotically asphyxiated star Michael Hutchence.

Of course Van Halen has never had any qualms about replacing their lead singers when they have outlived their usefulness, or annoyed Eddie. Gigolo David Lee Roth was the first to go, followed by Sammy 'I Can’t Drive 65' Hagar, who was then replaced by Roth who came back just for a greatest hits album, and now some dude from Extreme is their frontman. He’s probably relieved by the news.

So why can’t they just leave well enough alone? They’ve been together for almost 30 years, they have some great songs and will be remembered fondly. Instead, they are going to go on a reality show and the only person who will gain any fame is whomever wins. They might get some radio play out of their first song and have someone to play nostalgia tours with, but mostly they will annoy their old fans.

Sigh. I hope Roth tries out.