You Say Kaese, I Say Kaufmann!

I was sitting here, munching on my salad while watching The Bachelorette and guilting over the lack of posting, when a lightning bolt struck: cheese sculpture. I'd like to think that it was God speaking directly to me, but it was more likely my stomach. I'm gearing up for my 20 year high school reunion and I am hungray. But if I don't watch my figure no one else will, as my Great Aunt Trudie used to say. Anyhoo, cheese sculpture seemed right. What can I say? Somethings defy explanation. But syncronicity must've been at play cause I hit the web and there was some big cheese sculpting news. It seems Sarah Kaufmann, the reigning doyenne of dapper dairy da Vincis, experienced the sharp end of cheddar last week when her anniversary nod to astronaut Neil Armstrong fell victim to the lack of AC, much to the chagrin of visitors who were "audibly and visibly disappointed". I'd be audibly and visibly disappointed, too, if I lined up to see Neil Armstrong rendered in rennet and was left with a mound of Wisconsin's finest. I'd ask for my $4 back. And then I'd ask "Is anyone gonna eat that?" But I'm classy that way. Luckily for Kaufmann, she was able to beat the heat and redeem herself:
(photo courtesy of The Wapakoneta Daily News)

And fortunately for us, citizen journalism captured Kaufmann toiling in the flourescent limelight. Thank god for iReport! Nothing says cinema verite like cheese carving to check-out scan bleets.

Dairy debacles aside, life appears to be coming up all munster and asiago for Kaufmann. Seems Kaufmann just wed her man in a pirate themed ceremony where she pronounced "Our love is anchored in cheese". AND she made The Supermarket News this past weekend when she used her mad skills to carve Wisconsin dairy scenes in a 1,000 lbs of cheddar. Who knew life in the cheese carving world was as quick as microwaved Cheez Whiz on boiled broccoli? Kaufmann's dairy star is clearly on the rise. And I can't wait till she inks that riveting reality show deal.

PS. While technically not a sculpture, this is cheese art. And thus I had to post. Cause while he ain't no Kaufmann, I love Kyle from LA Ink. Kyle waltzed into the shop one day and proudly asked for a memorial tattoo for cheese. Seems poor Kyle suffered an accident that left him lactose intolerant. Pretty much my worst nightmare - and apparently Kyle's. So he decided to do what most folks do - toss out the Lactaid and get a cheesy tat. A man after my own heart.

Pamela Westoby guesting and ghosting while Barker cottages. Likely in the rain. If you like this, you might just like my book Hoyden and my flickr!


  1. "doyenne of dapper dairy da Vincis"

    That, good sir, is one for the ages.

  2. Thanks, man! It took me a while to come up with the final 'd'- but it was clearly worth it!

  3. Cheese sculptures! It's that kind of oddity that will keep you gainfully employed around this place. If gainfully employed mean posting for free. Nice find.