Harry Potter And The Alternate Ending

The end of the Harry Potter saga, if it were written by:

Joss Whedon:
As the conflict with Voldemort comes to a head, Ron Weasley is suddenly and shockingly killed. Hermione responds with steely determination, joined by Luna Lovegood, who turns out to be a rare witch who has super-powerful martial arts skills. While Harry tries ineffectively to help—often with comic results—Luna kills the Death Eaters with Unblockable Scorpion Kicks and Hermione defeats Voldemort in a head-on battle of magic.

George Lucas:
The battle between Harry and Voldemort comes to a close with an exciting magical glowing sword fight in the never-before-seen high-tech part of Hogwarts during which Voldemort reveals that he's Harry's real father. Then the Death Star blows up.

George Orwell:
As the students looked in at the Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix, they could no longer tell one from the other.

Scooby Doo writers:
As Lord Voldemort draws his last breath, he utters, "And I would have succeeded taking over the world if it weren't for YOU meddling kids."

And on and on like that, in many faux-authors voices, at Windypundit. (Link via Phangirl)

Photo: A still from the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, found at Film School Rejects.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Bunnies
Yo Momma So Fat The Sorting Hat Put Her In All Four Houses
Harry Potter and the Mid-Life Crisis


  1. Back before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out, as a joke I wrote what I claimed was the final ending of the Harry Potter saga (lifted straight from The Empire Strikes Back).

  2. You are truly a man of vision! I guess Rowling decided the father story line was too obvious.

  3. Erkin Bekbolotov is a recent MBA graduate with an obsession with Harry Potter